The Full Body Experience
Yesterday's Work was another revelatory experience. When I decide to go do The Work with the help of the facilitator, I never have the pre-determined issue at hand. When I get there nothing seems to bother me. But I'm here, I remind myself. Get quiet. Listen. Hear.
I sat down on the couch with my two friends and one girl who I only see at this Byron Katie facilitator's house. I didn't have anything to write on the Judge-Your-Neighbor worksheet. I could've written about a dozen things, but none of them seemed to trigger anything. I decided to take Julia Cameron's, the author of The Artist's Way, advice: "Writing is about getting something down, not thinking something up." It proved to be very appropriate to the situation, not to mention helpful.
I wrote down the first thing that came to my mind that did not bother me. After listening to my friend's work, I began to hear what was true for me, what I still reacted to. I crossed off the first thing I wrote and replaced it with the genuine belief I still held on to. When it was my turn to do the work, the belief that I held on to turned out to be the belief that did not trigger stress. The belief happened to be a spiritual one: "I'm not able to let go because I'm not having a full body experience."
Is that true? - the facilitator asks me
Yes. I should be having a full body experience. Intellectually, I understand that I should let go, but I can't feel it in my body.
Do you know for absolute certainty that you should be having a full body experience? - He presses on.
No. I can't know that with absolute certainty. - I answer
How do you react when you have the belief, 'I should be having a full body experience'?
Like I should be practicing more, like I'm not doing it right.
(I have to be honest, I don't remember some of the questions he asked me after that point because out of the blue, I was having a full body experience. The moment I realized that it was a belief not the truth, the truth that the belief pointed to led me to have the full body experience. I felt it in my belly. It was a warm feeling - literally. Then, my entire body got warm and tingly. For a moment, I couldn't tell who the people in the room were. I don't mean that I didn't know their names or faces. I mean I wasn't sure what I was looking at. He asked me what my experience is like. And I said, "Undefinable." Spontaneous tears and giggling accompanied the full body experience.)
I had no idea that wanting to have a full body experience was another belief until the facilitator phrased it that way. Would I have realized that on my own? Maybe. Did he do something to trigger it? Who knows. All I know is that it happened when it did because it did.
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