Doing or the Enjoyment of Doing?

Checking in...

Last week's intention to be more open has been working for me. I've been going to relational mindfulness classes in order to genuinely relate to people that I don't know even. There, we practice listening to each other without judgment or interruptions. I've been practicing being open, honest, and kind with whatever arises. The format of classes such as these allows for the space and trust to be who you are without fear of being judged or hurt.

What am I creating in other parts of my life?

Although, socially I've been more open, professionally I've been stumbling again, which brings me to this week's topic: What's the happy medium between doing and the enjoyment of doing? Yes, in fact, these two are a separate phenomenon. The enjoyment is something that happens involuntarily. And usually the enjoyment part comes during the doing, not before. I might get excited to work on something, but it's not the same as a deep-seeded joy that arises from staying aligned with whatever I'm doing.

What do I really want out of life?

I want to find joy in whatever I'm doing even if I don't feel like doing the particular task. For instance, if I set out to write today, then I would like to do that and feel joy even if I don't feel like doing the work, which sort of contradicts surrendering to Life. But what will happen if I surrender to "I don't want to do this right now" feeling?

My intention this week is to surrender to "I don't want to do this," feeling and see what happens.

What kind of a person do I really want to be through this experience?

I want to be the kind of a person who does what she set out to do. But I also want to be the kind of a person who forgives herself if she doesn't always follow through with what she set out to do. In my experience, being hard on myself doesn't work. If I don't continuously practice self-forgiveness, I go backwards two steps and find myself back in the slump. Therefore, I want to be the kind of a person who does not place any sort of expectations on herself, but rather allows "I don't feel like it" vibrations to be there and resume work when ready.

How does surrendering to "I don't want to do this" feeling align with the whole?

If I'm not creating suffering or pain for myself, I'm not creating it for others. Resisting the feeling would create suffering within me. I vow not to create suffering for myself and others.

Join me in surrendering to "I don't want to do this right now," feeling.

Thank you.