Sunday, May 30, 2010

The Poet Stands Alone

Checking in...

This past week life called on me to write more poetry. In my last "Deepening Joy" meditation class, we had a choice to volunteer to read poetry or sing or do any other creative activity. I chose to read a poem I wrote two years ago. I used to write poetry all the time when I was in school and some after, but then I stopped abruptly when I decided that I wanted to do more "serious" or "adult" type of writing. In other words, the kind of writing that would have potentially made me money. We get trapped in these "should" ideas and forget what was fun for us. Reading my poem reminded me how inspired I used to feel when I wrote poetry.

How do I know that Life is calling me to serve in this way?

Some people from the class came up to me afterwards and literally told me how moved they felt and that I should write more. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is. Of course, it doesn't mean that I have to drop everything else I'm doing and just focus on poetry; rather, include it in my activities.

One of the things I'm learning in the "creating me" process is to allow things to come and go without making absolute judgments or holding on to ideas for dear life. When I try to force an idea to become a fixture in my life rather than a fluid possibility, I fall into the trap of guilt, self-criticism, and inner turmoil. Who needs it? I sure don't.

What can I do now to live the kind of a life I really want?

Every week, every day, or every moment even, there is always one thing that's more prominent in our minds than others. For me, it has been sticking to a set schedule when I am my most creative, specifically for writing. I already know that my most creative time is in the morning hours from when I wake up at about 6am to noon. It takes me half an hour to an hour to go through my morning routine, which leaves good four to five hours to do creative work.

Then, why don't I do it every day or five times a week?

I'm realizing that it has to do with making that time a priority - no excuses! If I don't make that time a priority, I become more susceptible to distractions like checking my email, planning what I'm going to do tomorrow, getting into long discussions with my parents, worry, and doubt.

My intention this week is to cultivate more creative time and sticking to it even when nothing of "quality" arises.

In one of the posts of my favorite blog site, "Zen Habits," Leo (the writer of the blog) talks about the No.1 creative habit, which is SOLITUDE. Giving yourself the time to be alone in order for the creative juices to flow has proved to be the most crucial aspect for all creativity according to Einstein, Kafka, and many other geniuses of this world.

Join me in creating more alone time for creative solutions and ideas to flow into our hearts and minds with ease.

Thank you.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Clearing

How's Life calling me to serve?

Since I've been back from my retreat, I've been doing a lot of cleaning and clearing. It's like clearing my body and mind helped initiate external clearing as well. I organized my computer files. I added and cleaned up my contacts in my phone and email. I'm also realizing that I know more people than I thought. Between facebook, my phonebook, and my email, I am connected to a lot of people on the physical level. On the spiritual level, we are all connected, but it's nice to know that we can connect in the physical realm.

I've been feeling like reaching out to people lately. I even ask "how I can be of service?" more. I do that at home, at work, in my meditation classes and groups, and even in random places like the grocery store, while driving, and at new social events. I'm not surprised that it's happening as I am more aware of everything around me. It doesn't seem to take any effort or thought, which is how I know that I'm more aligned with the whole.

I read on article on the Oprah site on how to define our calling in life and one of the quotes that stayed with me was, "let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love." Then, it asks you to make a list of all the things that apply when you are at your happiest. Here's what rang true for me when I am at my happiest:

Helping others find their energy fields
Staying present and allowing everything to be as it is
Sharing insights with others
Teaching from presence
Being around like-minded people and with people in general
Listening to another with an open heart
Being the space holder for others to freely express themselves
Journaling with purpose
Obtaining information and practicing ways out of suffering
Writing and brainstorming stories that align with the whole

I am sure there is more, but the above stood out like signposts. Although, I'm not completely certain how it will all piece together to make a career path or my calling, it's beginning to feel warmer. One of my meditation teachers recommended once for when I don't know exactly where I'm going to simply go towards what feels warmer. Doing that also clears the path in the direction that's more suited for me.

This week, my intention is to follow another quote from that same article, "Let Love be my intention, my purpose, and my point. And then let Love inspire me, support me, and guide me in every other dedication I make thereafter."

Please join me in letting Love be our intention and letting Love inspire us in whichever path we partake.

Thank you.

Monday, May 17, 2010

I AM STILL

Checking in...

I'm back from my "Presence through Movement" Retreat that was led by Kim Eng, Eckhart Tolle's teaching and life partner. She teaches ying yoga or the polarity that allows, opens, and surrenders unlike yang, which is the pusher and the doer. I've come back with new skills and ways to allow Life to work through me. This post is my calling at this present moment.

When I came home after the retreat, I barely had a minute to put my stuff down and go to the bathroom before my mom proceeded to tell me that she has questions for me. I asked her, "what kind of questions?" And as she was answering me and preparing my lunch, she mumbled that I never tell the truth. I did not react to her statement on either external or internal level because I have enough stillness and presence in me to not take statements like that seriously. Within minutes I learned that her comment was referring to my sister and had nothing to do with me at all. But even if it did, the comment still had nothing to do with me because nothing anybody tells us has the capacity to hurt us unless we let it. And I'm not talking about numbing what we're feeling or reaffirming to yourself, "I'm better than this and I don't need to listen to it." I'm talking about knowing and most importantly, feeling the difference between thoughts and who we really are - consciousness experiencing thoughts.

The truth that we are not our thoughts could not have been clearer to me than when I had to go silent for 24 hours on my retreat. There are other retreats that practice silence for 5 to 7 to 10 or more days and so practicing it for one day was a nice taste of what it's like listening to the mind chatter since there is no one else to listen to. Although, I've been listening or trying to listen to my thoughts for some time now, doing it for a consecutive period of time with nothing else to do really showed me how truly noisy my mind is. I went from, "this is fun" to "this is boring" to "losing myself in one of the mind-created stories" to "I can't believe how lost I've been all this time" to "How much more do I have to go?" "I don't have a choice, I might as well stay with it" to "Wow, my mind is getting quieter" to "I'm losing track of time" to "It's over."

And now my mind is back, but there's even more space between me and my thoughts. Thoughts are always there, but as Kim said on the first day of the retreat, "I am still."

How's life calling me to serve?

To be still and go with whatever arises in the moment.

Join in me in coming back to stillness, our home base, our home.

Thank you!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Unlinear Path

Checking in...

It's been almost a month since my last post and the reason for that is because I've been all over the place. I've been sort of going with where the wind blows. How's that for alliteration? Within the past month, meditation has become a daily practice for me. I'm more relaxed and not as concerned about what I "should be" doing. I've been doing whatever arose in me on any particular day. If I felt like writing one day, then that's what I did. If I felt like spending a day hiking, then that's what I did. You might wonder how does one get anything completed by doing that? Surprisingly, things tend to unfold very naturally once we align ourselves with our most genuine desires. I met with a Reiki master recently and she reaffirmed what has been becoming very clear for me lately and that is... life is NOT linear. And this is not some grand discovery. Many scientists and spiritual teachers have known it as a fact for thousands of years.

We are used to living our lives from point A to point B. First comes this and then comes that. I'm not saying that we can't survive by doing just that all of our lives; however, living that way takes a lot of freedom and creativity out of the equation. Besides, it's very hard to create the kind of a life we really want by not going with the flow of life. It's literally there to help us out and guide us in whichever direction is more harmonious for us in any given situation.

What kind of a life do I really want?

I want to live harmoniously with Life itself. I want to be the tool that LIfe uses to build castles. In order for that happen, I have to completely surrender to Life and trust that whatever I choose to do is the only possible thing to do in any given moment. For me, the problem arises when I start to second-guess myself. And usually second-guessing never actually resolves a problem; rather, it creates anxiety. Things still tend to work out whether I second-guess or not. Then, why do it?

My intention this week is to follow the unlinear path with no regret or second-guessing.

What kind of a person would I be when I stop regretting and second-guessing my choices?

I would be relaxed and joyous. I would also take accountability for my choices and still feel "in trust" with my highest self. I already know that life is not linear and that even if I don't see the fruits of my labor today, it just means that they're growing and developing into what they want to be.

How's following the unlinear path align with the whole?

I am becoming more aware of the whole when I live in this way. Living in harmony with Life means that I don't get in anybody's way. Essentially, we are all one and so it is impossible to get in each other's way. And even as separate entities part of a whole we can live with each other without taking anything away from the other person. Me, living unlinearly, puts me in the right place and time and hence, in the right place and time with the whole.

Join me in following the unlinear path with no regret or doubt.

Thank you.