What will happen to my writing without the neurotic thoughts I have about it?
I've been catching my thoughts on the fly. Some of which are:
I need to write
Should I write?
Is this a good time to write?
I can't figure out that part, figures.
Should I change the story because I can't figure out that part?
This part makes me feel yucky.
Am I ever going to finish this story?
What about the other stories I started?
On and on and on and on...
The inquiry starts here. The writing itself has nothing to do with the thoughts I have about it. When it happens, it happens all by itself without the intrusions of mind. The only thing these thoughts affect are my mental state. The writing doesn't care. It happens on its own when the thoughts about it get out of the way.
Who would I be without these thoughts?
Isn't that the ultimate question. Who am I without the habitual thoughts that accompany me for no other reason but to keep themselves alive?
I've been noticing that the act of writing is much more harmonious without my thinking about it beforehand or after. And if something else comes up instead of writing, that too is not a problem when I don't make stories about how it should be.
Today for instance, I'm taking a day off from writing or thinking about writing. Thoughts arose here and there, but I focused on other things like dusting, taking a walk, listening to the external sounds, and noticing my breath. It has been relaxing thus far. I did feel inclined to write a blog about it. But there were no neurotic questions like "should I do it or not" beforehand.